Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Housewife Hazards Vol. 1

I decided to start a "Housewife Hazards" section ... for lack of a better word. I've learned that being a full-time stay at home wife & momma is more hazardous than one might think. Some of you may disagree with me, but I think wife & mom is a job ... or maybe the most challenging volunteer position you'll ever take. Not that it's a bad thing! It's just that several people see full-time mommas/wives as having a totally cush position, lazing about the house with their bunny slippers & chocolate bars. Or in my case, sport bras & protein bars. I've had several jobs in my short little life & I've had more responsibility put on my shoulders & more demands be made of me as a wife & mom than I ever did as a public affairs specialist or a house cleaner or a nurse extern. So I thought I'd fill these posts with personal incidents, thoughts & stories of the hazards of housewifedom.

#1. "How did I get baby throw up on only my left hip?" I wonder as I sit on the floor with Eve & watch Dr. Phil.

#2. I'm always finding someone else's bodily fluids on me ... snot, pee, throw up, buggers.

#3. I have an older sister. From hearing (and telling) stories about her as a kid ... "Charis ate poop." & "Charis went poopoo in the front yard!" ... I know that poop can be a hazard. The other day I experienced it first hand. My 8 year old stepdaughter & I go in to get Eve up from a nap & lo & behold she's taken her diaper halfway off. This is the second time this has happened ... but the first time it has had poop in it. About 1/2 the poop had landed in the crib the other half was still in her diaper. Upon seeing this, my first reaction was to get her out of the poop bed, get the sheets changed & everything washed. So ... without really thinking ... I take her diaper off, set her on the ground & commence changing her bedding. Toria & I are both kinda over dramatic about it ... "Eeeewwww! Eve pooped in the bed!" Eve happily squats down on the floor (as she does all the time) & laughs. Well seconds later she unsquats & she's peed on the carpet. Of course the drama heightens ... "Eeeeeeewwwwww! Eve peed on the carpet!" That's enough ruckus to bring daddy in to survey the situation.

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