Yours, Mine and Ours

Single me with my softball buddies about 2 years before meeting my hubby. Fortunately, these amazing peeps have become "ours."

I had a thought today. When you get married there is a merger of many things, friends included ... or not. 

My thought was, What happens when he has his friends and she has her friends and she doesn't like his and he doesn't like hers? Does everyone give up their friends? Does she only hang out with hers and he only hang out with his? Do they develop "our" friends? Do they compromise and hang out with each others' friends even though they don't want to?

Justin and I had a pretty short relationship before we got married, 14 months all together. We've had a few issues with this but it hasn't seemed to create too much conflict, thank God! 

What is your experience with or thoughts on this? 

Army Wives

I've been watching (addicted to!) the Lifetime show Army Wives. I was excited for the new reality show Married to the Military to start and after watching 2 episodes I was pleasantly surprised to see the shows are pretty similar.

Most of the wives on Married to the Military talk about representing their husbands well and how their roll of Army wife and mom is so important because their husbands are fighting for our country. They're passionate about it! They watch the things they do and say as to not disrespect or dishonor their husbands.

Unfortunately, I've seen firsthand how this line of thinking isn't continuous among all military wives and I know not all civilian wives live lives disrespectful of their husbands.

I asked myself, "Why isn't this line of thinking more common among all wives?" I completely understand the special calling of putting your life on the line to protect and defend your country. But even though my husband isn't risking his life on the front lines, why should my devotion to representing him well be any different? Why is it OK for me to act unbecomingly and say things that would embarrass or disgrace my husband just because he totes a wrench or a pencil and not a grenade or an M-9? Doesn't that mean that our level of respect for our husbands and our positions as their wives is contingent on what they do for a living or their "service"?

What do you think? Do servicemembers and people who put themselves in harms way for others deserve more from their spouses? Should more respect, more honor, more understanding, more tolerance and more patience be expected of them?